This week, I went to Children’s Hospital in Oakland to witness my 13 year old god-daughter Ariel’s First Holy Communion. I first wrote about Ari on this blog here, and if you want her complete story, you should see the Caring Bridge site her mom maintains.

Ariel’s story is hers, and not mine, so I will simply say that in her quest to make some sense and gain some understanding of this phase of her life – up against the ravages of an aggressive and deadly disease –she decided it was time to make her First Holy Communion. For those of you non-Catholics, this is the sacrament that defines Catholicism from every other Christian faith. Catholics believe that in the sacrament of the Eucharist, the bread and wine trans-substantiate into the literal body and blood of Jesus Christ. A miracle occurs every time we are together. We invoke our Holy Lord to come and be present with and within us.

So we gathered. Ariel, Crystal-her mother, Beverly-her grandmother, Elena-my mother, and I were met by Sister Bernice who guided us all through a simple and focused ritual that made Ari a closer part of this spiritual community.

Beverly brought Ari a communion veil and small crown of flowers that were made for her own mother. She brought a picture of her mother in 1929 and one of herself, each on the day of their own First Holy Communion. I joked that the veil was still intact and hadn’t spontaneously combusted since it never sat on Crystal’s fiery red head. Beverly told us that she had spent weeks making Crystal’s communion dress, but when she put the dress together with the veil, its age made it look dingy against the bright, crisp white of the new fabric. She was too afraid of ruining the fabric to bleach it, so she made a new veil and did her best to replicate the floral crown – Crystal remembers her mother working in frustrated detail on that crown.

Our joking complete and a few pictures snapped, Sister Bernice called us together to begin the ritual. She told us about how Jesus celebrated a special meal with his disciples and why the host is flat and not bread-like at all. She spoke of communion as a reminder that Jesus loves us. She told us that the disciples had asked Jesus what God was like, and that Jesus could have said anything – He could have told them that God is a judge or that God is punitive, but Jesus described God as Father (and since God is sexless, as Mother, too), loving and caring, full of compassion for his children. We formed a circle, held hands and recited the Our Father/Mother together. We all took communion.

Sister Bernice reminded Ariel that the Eucharist is available to her whenever she needs to be reminded of that love and hold it from the inside out. Then, in a close circle around Ariel’s hospital bed, we all extended our right hands and blessed Ariel. This circle of women, of matriarchs, blessed this child so she would not be afraid and so that she would see and feel that we are here – and that God is here with her, always.

It has been a long time since I have participated in such a perfect religious ritual. I am reminded that ritual has purpose and meaning. We were not going through any motions. Ari needed to know that God is on her side and is holding her – whatever else is happening to her right now. My own prayer for Ariel is that she can know that there is a spark of the divine within her, a spark that was there from the moment of her birth that will continue on into eternity. I want her to know that love is powerful and transcendent and that there is no God but love. I want her to feel that the love and strength she holds is more powerful than death and that she does not need to fear what may come. I hope she knows that her Auntie Heidi is here, by her side and in her heart forever.